DAENERYS

The scorching fire bathed her, cleansing her off mistakes, regrets and insanity. She could hear it singing to her. She opened her arms wide, embracing it. As she stood up from the melting throne, its magma of steel drowned her bare feet, twirling around her toes, sending electrical jolts through her whole body. Dust and ash blurred the air, the burning smell swallowed the room. The heat soothed her, painting a notion of freedom like none she had ever known. The world around her ceased to exist. When the torn pieces of her dress finally finished their dance through the air, falling on the ground, the fire revealed her blackened bare skin underneath. She turned her body and opened her eyes to the gazes of those before her. The dwarf freed his frightened face, unwrapped his arms and dropped his jaw at the sight of the godlike being in front of him.

“It takes a great leader to realize their mistakes, but it takes an even greater one to admit them. I know you are all here out of fear and not love, but ruling with fear did not end too well last time. Now, I did not come here to be your Queen. I am here to ask for your forgiveness and to admit my mistakes, to put an end to this war. We have all lost too much at each other’s hands, waging wars for centuries, spinning the wheel endlessly. I am here to do what I always intended - build a better world with your help, break the wheel. We have to forgive and forget our past to build a better future… we have to move on, we have to find a better way. And now I ask for your suggestions and how we can create a world where each of us can find their own place and call it home.” Stair by stair, she stood in front of her former Hand, directing her arm towards whatever was left of the melted throne behind her. “No more kings or queens, no more bloodline rulers, no more war. Any clever suggestions as to how we can make that work?” She asked him as if things between them hadn’t changed, as if he was still her Hand.

The imp swallowed his fear back. How wouldn’t he be afraid? Even she was afraid of herself. Her anger almost slipped out, scorching the man in front of her to the bone. Her fantasies of revenge nearly became a reality. The dragon inside her was untamable, out of her control. However, at the very least, it lit up the path she was meant to take next.

“You wish not to be a Queen?” the distrust in Tyrion’s voice put her patience to the test. She ignored his question, but her gaze stayed on him until his existence piqued her interest no more, focusing on the boy whose loyalty as a squire was as impressive as his ways with women. 

“Would you be so kind as to find me something to wear?” The flushed cheeks of Podrick did not go unnoticed by her, or anyone else in the room for that matter. 

The man she knew as Davos stepped forward “Your Grace, the realm needs someone to follow, leaders aren’t just there to rule, they are there to inspire the people and help those in need. Perhaps the problem are the kingdoms themselves, perhaps all we need is only one kingdom, ruled by a noble man and an honorable woman as equals, chosen by the great houses.”

“May I suggest…?” Sam’s voice was so low that even Jon’s brooding was louder. She let her eyes wander off to him just for a moment. His cuts were deep and bloody, his shirt was torn, his hair was wet, he looked a mess and yet, focusing her eyes on the man next to him was harder than she would ever admit.

“Of course, speak louder.” Her bare feet moved across the marbled floor soundlessly, closing the distance between them. 

“P-perhaps... perhaps the decision about... what's best for everyone... s-should be left to... well, everyone. Perhaps the people should... choose, who they want to lead them.” Sam’s second attempt at suggesting democracy was no different than the first. Laughter echoed in the room, waking up the sleeping Drogon. His deep, frightening growl silenced the room in a heartbeat as he went onto licking his wing off the dust. However, there was one person who did not find Sam’s suggestion amusing. She stood right in front of him, staring at him quietly, lost in her own thoughts. She even failed noticing the nervousness and discomfort on his face, her nakedness had caused. 

“Here, Your Grace.” Podrick’s voice brought her back to the throne room. 

“I am not your Queen, Podrick.” for the first time in a while, her lips curved into a slight smile as she wrapped the black cloth around her. “Thank you” she nodded before raising her hand towards the door of the small council chamber, gesturing to Sam. “I would like to hear more.” When Sam followed the guidance of her hand, her eyes met Jon’s. The greatest and most devious scheme the Gods ever left on this world for her. Her hand remained in the air until the last member of each great house went inside the room. 

Closing the door behind her started the heated discussion about the future of their new world. After Dany heard each and every opinion, she formed her last judgment. “In order to preserve the traditions, the Seven Kingdoms will remain as such. I have sent the Unsullied east and they have chased the slavers out of the Free Cities, meaning Essos is free to join the Kingdoms, adding an eighth one. Seeking independence is idle since each Kingdom is free to choose their traditions as long as they do not include violent behavior. In return, the kingdoms will be expected to honor the agreement and act as a part of a whole. The people of each Kingdom, high or lowborn, will vote their own leader. These leaders will vote one amongst them as… let’s call it a King or a Queen, however those two titles will bear a new, different meaning. Each decision will be voted and must be approved by a council of eight advisors, one of each Kingdom, who will reside in King‘s Landing, near their Queen or King. These will include lords, bastards, highborns, lowborns, common people, farmers, workers… anything that was chosen. No more birthright, no more child rulers, no more Stark, Targaryen, Baratheon, Lannister, Geyjoy… those will mean what they essentially are... names. To Brienne’s request, women will be free to join armies as men do. Men and women will have the same rights and will be equals. Treason will be punished by joining the Night’s Watch whose purpose will include exploring the north and its boundaries, completing our maps. No more killing, slavery, reaving, roving, raiding, or raping... The world will know war and violence no more. It’s time we built a better world, a peaceful world. It’s time we broke the wheel... together.” 

She moved her eyes over each and every one of them. “All those in favor, raise your hand.” She let a hint of satisfaction take over her expression when every hand was in the air. 

“This council will make all decisions until the official voting when the new King or Queen will be elected.” 

And the first vote of the council decided the faith of the imp that stood on the other side of the closed doors, awaiting his trial. In Dany’s eyes he was the reason the war of the three armies happened. However, her suggestion he joins the Night’s watch was outvoted. Suppose his home, where the votes sent him, being destroyed by the Dornish, was some kind of consolation. 

“Well, if there is nothing more, I suppose we are done here.” pushing her chair back, she stood up and walked to the door, opening it. One by one, the room emptied. Before he was about to leave as well, her voice halted his steps. “Jon.” 

When they were alone, standing in front of him, she felt her heart flutter inside her chest. What had she ever done to make the gods so cruel? She had finally tasted love and hope, finally found a safe place next to him, a place where she belonged. His arms were her home, she missed them so. Why did the Gods have to dangle something so sweet in front of her face, just to rip it away? 

“You are pardoned from your crimes, you no longer need to return to the Night’s Watch, the north will accept you as their leader. The wildlings were promised land and land is what they shall get. They will build their own villages and erect their own castles. The wars up north need to come to an end as well, I trust you can make that happen.”

For the first time, Daenerys could not read Jon’s expression. Even his usual broodiness was gone. The only thing she could hear was his breathing, getting louder with each breath he took. For a moment, neither moved, altering the sense of time, the tension radiating from their stares, filling the room. Her body mimicked his steps but backwards, pulling her away from him until her back was glued to the door. When he towered over her, his expression finally gave out his emotions. Hunger. To love or to kill? Did those two words even have an opposite meaning for them? They loved each other, they betrayed each other, they killed each other, they saved each other, they sacrificed so much for each other. She grabbed the hilt of Longclaw off his belt the second his hand wrapped around her throat. His grip tightened as he leaned in, finding her lips with his own, locking them in the most passionate kiss, filled with anger and pain and love. Her body reacted without hesitation, surrendering to him completely. A soft moan slipped out as she parted her lips, responding to his. One hand on his sword, ready to kill, the other on his cheek, ready to love. God, she wanted him, getting lost in his arms was the easiest thing. The thing that tore her heart to pieces every time she laid eyes on him.

He didn’t even seem to notice she had pulled Longclaw out of his belt until it slipped through her fingers and hit the ground, much like she didn’t feel the knife piercing her heart the last time they shared a kiss. And just like that, the betrayal she felt lying there, dying in his arms, came back to haunt her, to suffocate her. Had it only been her, she might have even given into the temptation and comfort of his arms forever, but it wasn’t just her. It was the child in her belly that represented the last ray of sunlight in the darkness she was drowning in. All she wanted was to kiss the father of her child before letting him know what kept her sane in those dark times, the reason she kept fighting after losing nearly everything, the reason she found strength when all strength had left her, the reason she was still breathing… And he took that away from her while kissing her, committing the greatest crime against their love, their child, their happiness. How does one forgive that? Her heart was saying yes, but her mind would not have it, triumphing the battle within. So she dove her hands in his chest, pushing him away from her, breaking their final touch. Her fingers searched for the dagger that caused the pain inside. Only, it wasn’t there. The dagger was nothing but distrust. 

She wanted to yell it all out, finally make him realize what he had done, to make him understand that he destroyed them just like she told him he would, to make him see all the pain she was carrying all alone, without his help… you were supposed to help… She was right there, breaking apart in front of him, the signs were all there. How could you not see? She knew the answer to that... she was just too afraid to face it… he never loved her, not like she loved him. She sacrificed everything for him, nearly gave her own life to save his, lost her dearest friends, dragons, her family… And what did you do? He chose his own family when it meant destroying them, betrayed her, gave her two minutes to decide if she was worth living... two minutes, one conversation. That’s all it took. If you don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt from the one who claims to love you… what was the point of it all? So why should she give him more than two minutes now, starting a conversation that would lead nowhere? Trust, hope, faith… were all words Daenerys Targaryen no longer believed in. Everything she once thought she found in him, now she found in herself. And therefore, no longer needed him.

“Just go back to the north, Jon Snow., where you belong. Now and always.” 

For the first time since the day her heart stopped beating, Dany no longer deceived herself about the man in front of her. She loved him… she did and yet, she could never trust him. And what is love without trust? 

“I love you…” he mumbled in one final desperate attempt to keep her here as she reached the handle of the door. His words were a knife through Dany’s chest. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply in hopes to ease her rapid heartbeats, before turning to face him.

She lifted her shoulders and even hint of a laugh escaped her lips. “I love you too, Jon…” No more secrets. She spread her arms wide in all honesty as if what she said had no meaning, no value to change anything. “...and yet… it’s not enough…” turning her back to him, she walked out and closed the door shut behind her. Behind them.

>> Chapter 32: TYRION