As she sat on the bench on top of the stairs, Dany remembered how uncomfortable this seat was. She shifted awkwardly, crossing one leg over the other, her sight falling over the chains of the two prisoners awaiting on their knees at the bottom of the stairs. “Free them” Next to her, Daario was nervously shifting from one foot to the other, his eyes blood thirsty. She raised her arm in front of him, knowing his patience is running low. “We don’t put people in chains here” she looked at him and he nodded unwillingly. Oh right and he was still here, Longclaw hanging around his waist dripping blood on the stone floor. Jon was one of the last fighters on the shores of Meereen, pushing the slaver back in the waters of The Bay of Dragons where the ships of the Unsullied awaited them.
Grey Worm departed with his army of eunuchs towards Meereen the very next day since he received her letter. When he read the words that could only possibly come from his Queen, he did not question it once. His Queen was alive. The Unsullied entered the waters of The Bay of Dragons just in time to meet their enemies from behind. The slavers might have stood a chance against the Second Sons, might even have overtaken the city, but the unexpected elite warriors striking from behind cut those chances by half at the very least. The slavers never even reached inside the gates with their armies trapped between the Second Sons and the Unsullied. However, their catapults of fire did more damage to the inner city than Dany could forgive, so she ordered two of the slavers in command to be brought to her.
When their chains dropped on the floor, Dany gestured them to stand up. “Rise” At least they are smart enough to listen, she thought. “I hear you two are very respected in Yunkai… Is this so?” The older man nodded shakingly. Next to him stood a young man, only a few years older than herself. Dany studied their body movements carefully. One had fear in his eyes, his whole body shaking and the other was bolder, younger… greener. “I was also told you are a father and a son… Is this so?” Even though this was her first time holding a human life in her hands after that day in King’s Landing, Dany felt confident. Like she was back, doing what she did best. Rule. A thing that interested her no more.
This time the old man remained still. He is fearing for his son, she concluded and walked down the stairs. Standing in front of him, she spoke “You will go back to Yunkai, inform the slavers, your friends, of what happened here and order them to free their slaves. If they refuse, remind them what happened the last time Daenerys Targaryen came to their city. Tell them you saw me with your own eyes. As soon as you do, your son will be on his way to Yunkai, to you. Do you understand?”
The slaver looked at his son “Take me and send him instead.”
The golden circle felt lose around her arm and Dany caught it, pushing it back up to where her bicep ends, shaking her head gently “I don’t think so. Your son will be safe here if you do as told.”
“And why should we trust you?” the young man stepped forward until Grey Worm put him back in his place. He continued “...why should we trust that you won’t kill me the second my father marches away?”
The room became so quiet, she could hear the drops of blood slipping off Longclaw and dripping over the floor. She lifted her shoulders and her eyebrows followed “Because, I am afraid you will like the other choice much less.” She felt those Stark grey eyes, watching her, studying her, waiting for her to do something impulsive. It piqued the sleeping dragon inside her.
After the old man passed the city gates, Daario escorted the young man out himself. When she finally thought she was done with tough conversations for the day, the red priestess showed up at the end of the tunnel. “Your Grace” Kinvara bowed as soon as she stepped into the room.
“Rise” Dany turned her back to Jon to welcome the new guest. “That is not necessary, I am no longer a Queen.”
“I came to speak of just that, I am afraid you don’t get to choose, Your Grace.”
Dany took a deep breath and closed her eyes sighing. “We have already spoken about this, I no longer wish to sit on that throne nor I wish to call myself Queen. They already have a King.”
“Aye, there is a King but I am afraid not for long.” She heard footsteps behind her and Jon stood by her side.
“What is that supposed to mean?” she could feel the anger in his voice. Much like her, he didn’t trust these worshipers of the Lord of Light.
Kinvara stepped forward ignoring him and took Dany’s hand in hers, her face turned still as if it were crafted stone. “War is on the verge and no one living knows more of ruling than you. Once, you believed your destiny was to build a better world. That hasn’t changed. You are the one to break the wheel once and for all.” Dany felt her patience is getting dangerously low, she told this priestess no before, she keeps coming back. A no is a no.
Tightening her jaw, she pulled her hand back, letting the priestess know she might be waking the dragon. “I am tired, Kinvara. I am weary of war. I want to rest, to laugh, to find my child, to go home.” She wasn’t even sure what home meant anymore. The anger turned into sadness, pain, a feeling she knew too well, a feeling she was trying so hard to ignore. But if that is what it took to make this priestess understand and finally give up, then maybe, just maybe, it is worth it.
“All my life I have known one goal. The Iron Throne. It was all for that throne. Every decision I have made, every sacrifice I have made, every life I have taken, every life I have lost… I lost myself trying to get to that damn throne and I died for it. What else am I supposed to do? I gave it all I had…” she raised her arms wide, her heart fluttering in her chest “…I have nothing left to give…” Her eyes watered and she closed them quickly before anyone noticed. I am still the blood of the dragon.
She gathered herself and stood tall “Somewhere along the throne chase I lost myself, forgotten why I even started playing this tiring game. All I wanted was to go home, to help those who could not help themselves, to never have another child live the way I’ve lived and yet somehow, I ended up being the one to…” her voice broke. She never spoke out loud about the thing that daily tore her from within, the thing that kept her up most nights or when she managed to catch even the slightest hint of a dream it was always the same nightmare… Children. Ashes of children. Jon standing right next to her, not moving his eyes off her made it even more real, more painful, his face simultaneously representing her greatest pain and her greatest happiness.
“Do you understand? It’s enough, I can’t do it anymore. I tried and I failed. I am not your promised princess, I am not your Lord’s chosen one. I am only a girl searching for a home and a mother worried for her child. That is all.” Now she took the priestesses warm hands in hers. “I am grateful to you for giving me this second chance, but I am asking you to understand. Please.” Dany raised her eyebrows waiting for the priestess to finally understand all the pain that throne caused her and how it was all still there, lingering within her.
Suddenly, she felt lightheaded, the exhaustion of riding under the sun for so long still hasn’t left her body. How could it? Her days meant war and tough decisions and her nights meant nightmares. The bruises on her thighs still haven’t healed and that uncomfortable bench wasn’t helping. She turned around and gestured to the priestess to follow her. And Jon followed the priestess. Pushing the thin iron decorated doors, she entered the room with the circled table in the middle, at the very top of the Great Pyramid. The room where she spent hours discussing the fate of the Sons of the Harpy. She stood in front of the opened door that allowed a view of the whole city and The Bay of Dragons, turning her back to her company.
“Don’t you want a safe future for your children? You want to be a normal girl you say. To find your home. Don’t you want to start a family in a world free of war?”
Dany turned around, facing the priestess. “The world will always be at war, sooner or later. It’s who we are, it’s in our blood. What makes you think I can stop that? And why me?”
“It might be you, it might be your children. All the Lord of Light shows me is that it all comes back to you.”
Dany smiled wistfully, unable to remember her last honest smile. “Well, you can tell your Lord he is wrong again, I can’t have children.”
“Who told you that?” The priestess was taken aback.
“The witch who murdered her husband” Jon joined the conversation, taking Dany back into their past, the day she shared that with him, ignoring the rest of the people in the Dragon Pit, as if he was all that mattered. It was just him and her, when everything was so much simpler. Just a little more than a year ago. And then…
“A witch... Was this husband of yours, your brother?” Kinvara interrupted her painful thoughts. Thank the Gods. Whenever her mind would go back to those times, it seemed to refuse to leave them. Every second more painful than the previous.
“No, my brother sold me to a Doltharki screamer when I was only a child.” Dany walked slowly to the round table nearby whilst talking. “All for the better, of course… My brother was never half the man my husband was.” Leaning over it, she faced the priestess.
“You loved him…” The woman in the red dress read her face.
“He was my husband.” Lifting her shoulders she answered as if an explanation wasn’t necessary.
“Just so, not all wifes love their husbands” Kinvara looked at her as if she were an innocent child, yet to discover the world.
“I presume you lost a child from this Dotharki screamer.” Dany lowered her gaze and nodded. “I am sorry to hear that... losing a child is the greatest pain a woman can endure.” Dany chuckled. I’ve felt that pain more times than I wish to remember. At this point, what other people considered pain, for her was just mundane.
“Were you ever with child after that?” Dany didn’t like where this conversation was going, especially with Jon in the room. But she wanted to be done with this priestess once and for all and besides, it didn’t matter now anyway. And if she was honest, maybe some dark part of her wanted him to know, then maybe, just maybe, he would feel a fragment of her pain.
“Yes… thrice” she laid her eyes over the three dragon figures on the table thinking about those children she had lost as well. That took Jon by surprise, he never knew that about her… He never asked…
“Did all of them die?” The priestess was persistent. Nodding wistfully, her mind went back to the days when blood trickled down her thighs as she kept walking through the green fields of the Dothraki Sea, following the stream in hopes to get back home to Meereen. The days the grass was her only friend. The days khal Moro’s khalasar circled their horses around her as if she were prey.
“Two did.”
“And the third?” Dany closed her eyes and put her hand on her belly. She felt Jon’s eyes upon her and even with every intention to remain calm, her heart began searching it’s way out her chest.
“I died.”
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